Ahhhhhh...30 is a stone's throw away...

I have never been one to obsess about my age...I've always thought wrinkles were beautiful and old hands meant that you had learned valuable lessons. That said, over the last month or so, I have been having a difficult time coming to grips with the fact that I will be thirty in September. 30!!!!! It's like a new page in my life that I'm just not quite ready to read. Now, before you judge me or say, "30s not old! Wait till you get my age!" let me explain a few things.

1. I had my children at a young age and part of me LOVES that I am only going to be 42 when my youngest graduates high school. I always wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 30...it was my self imposed deadline. That said, lately, I have had a strong desire to procreate again and turning 30 means I can't (unless God chooses differently and my hubby has a minor reversal surgery...it ain't happening). Thus, I'm a little sad about that deadline that I gave myself!
2. There is something about putting a "3" in front of your age as opposed to a "2." If you know what I'm talking about, let me hear an "amen!" In society, when you have a "2" in front, you are still young, not considered quite mature yet so you can still be a little crazy...but just a little. When you have a "3" in front, all of a sudden, you are expected to be a "grown up..." whatever that word means, I haven't a clue. Therefore, I am conflicted...I will have a "3" in front, but I'm not ready to be a "grown-up!" It's apparently going to be a battle of the two forces!
3. Though I do realize that on my birthday, when I wake up, I will only be one day older than I was when I went to sleep, it's the whole year that has passed between 29 and 30...a whole year of happiness and sorrow...learning and well, being stupid...growing and shrinking...and I don't feel that I accomplished enough in that year. So, I think I'll give myself another year of being 29...just don't tell the DMV, they probably won't like it.

I also want to include the things that I am grateful for as I approach...(gulp)...30...and for these things, I remind myself that 30 is going to be TOTALLY worth it:

1. I have an amazing little family...one boy, one girl, and hubby...we fit together like the perfect American dream. I am blessed every day with my son's "old soul" and my daughter's pure zest for life...my hubby provides me with continual laughter and for those things I am grateful...I look forward to what another year with my family will bring.
2. I realize that with age, comes wisdom. The wisdom to know the things that can and can not be changed. With wisdom comes power...and I think I like that word...power...yeah...so, instead of being older, I'm going to call myself more powerful...there, that sounds much better. Because I am more powerful, I am grateful!
3. I am successful...I have a job that I love, a family that I adore, the greatest parents and papaw, and friends that I would give one of my toes for (see previous blog if you want to know which toe)! I think that as 30 approaches, I have become more in love with my life and those that surround me...for that, I think 30 is going to be better...
4. My hubby says I don't really have to be a "grown up." I just have to pretend to be one every now and then...that makes me grateful...MY hubby loves that there's a big kid inside of me...he's one too! ;)

So, for the next couple months, I'm really going to try to focus on all the things that will make 30 so much better than 29!

Until next time, be blessed in YOUR life...LOVE those around you...and get a little CRAZY sometimes! Muah!